Wedding Wednesday No. 11: A Wedding Update

Hello from East Texas!

I won’t lie, this Wedding Wednesday post is by far the hardest one I’ve sat down to write. In fact, it’s something I’ve been putting off, waiting until the last minute to write. It’s been something constantly weighing on my mind and heart, and to be frank and honest, this topic has caused a lot of stress lately.

Before going any further, I want to be clear in the intention behind this post. I don’t want a bit of this to sound as if I am ungrateful or unaware of what our world is going through at the moment. I know the sacrifice so many of our healthcare and others such as grocery, pharmacy workers, etc. have had to make on a daily basis. I realize so many Americans have had to deal with more than I can even begin to imagine in the last two weeks dealing with stress, illness, family or loved ones directly affected by covid-19, job loss, financial crisis, and so much more. I don’t take for granted the things I’ve been blessed with, whether it is health or my job, because I know and understand the magnitude of this entire situation on our world from a bigger picture. I realize the effect covid-19 has on my wedding is so minute and small in the grand scheme of everything going on. I hope you see my intentions in this post are simply just from my perspective as an eager bride, and to share the experience I’ve had counting down to our wedding during a global pandemic. This is not a post intended to complain, but simply to give an update on where we are at and to connect with the many other women who have found themselves in this same uncharted territory weeks before their big day.

I have to say, when sitting down at the beginning of the year to plan out Wedding Wednesday posts, nowhere on that list did I have a week reserved for “planning a wedding during a global pandemic!” My intention was to use this space as a fun way to document the excitement of things such as finding the dress, sharing memories from showers and my bachelorette trip, and all of the fun experiences that comes with planning a wedding. I’ve loved sharing this journey and I know I will be so grateful in years to come that I will have these posts to look back on this season of life.

The thought never crossed my mind that something so massive could intercede on this time and completely challenge all of the said “plans” I had for myself, this process or that special day in May.

But I should have known.

I am a woman of faith, and I do know and believe that I am not the one in control. And my wedding plans are not exempt from that statement. I am not the one in control, no matter how badly I want or try to be, I’m not. I have learned through different experiences in my adult life that no matter how many plans you make for your life, the Lord is ultimately in control of it all, and His plans and purpose will always prevail. Looking back on my career in teaching, my Miss Texas experiences, and even the way Drew came into my life, I realize his plans are ALWAYS better than anything I could do on my own, and He does nothing by mistake. I know the same goes for this journey and God is not surprised at all by any of this. He is still faithful and fully in control of everything, even when it is hard for me to understand.

I won’t lie and say that there haven’t been tears and confusion in the last two weeks though. I trust the Lord and that what He has planned for Drew and I’s marriage will be exactly as He intends it to be, but that doesn’t mean it is necessarily easy.

Like many other girls, I’ve been planning my wedding since I was like 10. I did a post a few weeks back talking about my vision for May 30, and what I dreamed for that day to be. The super girly female in me has dreamed and dreamed about this day for years. I also shared Drew and I’s story of meeting and dating, and how about 3 months into dating we both knew we would get married. The vision and dreams for our wedding only grew from there, but were put on hold as I pursued my childhood dream of being Miss Texas. Drew patiently waited year after year on the sidelines allowing me to live that dream, even though he was ready to get married, and so was I.

One thing I have gently been reminded of through this all is a marriage is not a wedding. Sure my hope and dream and desire is for us to share a beautiful and sacred ceremony with our loved ones all around to celebrate our covenant to one another.

However, I realize a covenant marriage is so much more than a white dress, a bouquet of flowers, or any of the wonderful things in a wedding that we love. Drew and I have had the most incredible blessing to go through pre-marital counseling with our pastor, someone who is very near and dear to my heart as a mentor in my walk with Christ. Through our counseling we’ve focused on what a covenant marriage looks like, and I’ve learned so much about marriage and the kind of wife and spiritual companion I strive to be to Drew.

I’ve also learned that more important than any wedding celebration, is we enter a covenant marriage to one another, just as God gave us the ultimate gift and covenant to Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. The picture of marriage and covenant is not about a wedding, it is about Christ and His love for us. And that to me has been a priceless picture I’ve been able to see clearer than ever before during this season.

So, what about May 30? That day we’ve been eagerly counting down to.

Perhaps it is foolish and naive of us to hang onto hope for a miracle and to believe that anything could possibly change within the next ten weeks, but I simply cannot bring myself to give up hope that quickly. Drew has been a rockstar through it all, has been my shoulder to cry on, my sounding board and has given positive perspective to it all. He holds onto hope alongside me.

However, we are aware that in the next few weeks (by mid-April) we will be put in a position to make that decision, and we are preparing ourselves to do what is best for us as a couple, but more importantly for the safety and well-being of all of those we love and want to celebrate with. We will not move forward and risk the safety and health of our guests, but I guess we are still blindly holding onto hope that maybe a miracle is out there for this season to pass quickly and life to return to normal.

I have watched so many sweet friends and even other women I don’t know (but now feel a forever connection to) walk this same road and they have done it with so much grace and humility. It’s not what any of us had in mind for what should be such a joyful and exciting season, but I am in awe of each of them as they have navigated this journey.

If you are a bride and need some encouragement during this season there are three things I encourage you to do:

1. Pray. And pray and pray and pray some more. True peace and comfort can only be found in Him.

2. One of my favorite bloggers, Kate from Lonestar Southern wrote the most beautiful letter to brides, and I can’t read it without crying each time! I go back and read it often though, because there is so much encouragement and truth in her letter.

3. Another blog post that was shared to me by a fellow bride is this one. It is from a different perspective than Kate’s and again, so much truth from a faith point of view and true trust in the Lord. Definitely an encouragement to read as a bride!

Finally, I’ll say this once more, I am confident that our God makes no mistakes. One of my very favorite verses is Esther 4:14, “Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.” Whether you are a fellow bride navigating planning a wedding in this season, an expectant mother fearful of the next steps in bringing a child into a broken world in crisis, or a small-business owner barely keeping your head above water… whatever the struggle you are facing at this very moment, put your trust in Him. This too shall pass.

All my love to you wherever you are.

xx,

Madison