Today’s, or should I say tonight’s Wedding Wednesday is taking a major shift in focus, and talking about something that has been on my heart for several weeks now. I don’t know why, but amidst all of the preparation for our wedding(s), it’s been on my heart to share something for a group of women who are not currently planning a wedding. I have been reflecting on the last 5 years a lot lately, and I just knew I had to address this idea that’s been tugging at me – to share some encouragement for my single sisters.
Singleness can be a vulnerable subject. Especially the older we get, sometimes I think we allow ourselves to believe the lie that being single is a negative season of life. I remember vividly my own insecurities of ever being “enough” or finding the right person at the right time to feel validated. With that being said, comparison is one of my greatest personal struggles. And if I was taking a guess, I’d say many other females struggle with it too. Comparison in body image, social groups, instagram accounts, jobs, life and love – it’s all very real. In singleness, I think it’s easy to begin that cycle of comparison and feeling inadequate and anxious in finding someone to love.
So, I decided to invite someone who is much wiser than me (even though she’s my little sister) to speak some truth on this subject. Mallory is deeply grounded in her faith, and is a constant inspiration to me in her obedience and faithfulness to the Lord. If you find yourself in this same season of life, I hope the truth she shares can serve as encouragement to you!
Hi everyone, I’m Mallory!
First and foremost, I wanted to give a huge thank you to my sister, Madison, for allowing me to share my heart with you all. It has been one of my greatest joys watching her blog come to life and I am honored to be a guest writer. Talking about my singleness is definitely a point of vulnerability for me, but I believe being vulnerable with one another truly brings about beauty into our lives.
Growing up with two older sisters, I had the privilege of having my role models living in the same house as me. Morgan and Madison have both shaped my life in more ways than they could possibly know. They have challenged me to become the best version of myself. They have inspired me to dream big, and work hard. Because of the incredible humans that they are, it is inevitable that I strive to be more like them every day. I have been so lucky to have not only my parents, but also my sister’s relationships to look up to. Daniel and Drew have been in my life since a young age and watching their relationships with my sisters has created quite the standard for what I want in my marriage one day.
I don’t know about you, but I was always the kind of person to imagine how my life “should” turn out, which strongly resembled that of my sisters. Morgan and Daniel were high school sweethearts, and Madison met Drew in college, which meant that I for sure had to meet my guy at a young age too, right?! For a while, I let the fact that my life looked a little different bother me. However, I graduated from Texas A&M last Friday eager to start a new chapter of my life, single. My life doesn’t look how I thought it should have 4 years ago, but I could not be more thankful that the Lord’s plans are so much better than my own.
I don’t know when it became a bad thing to be single, but somewhere along the way, society told us that being single inevitably meant something was wrong with you. For a long time, I bought into this lie. I will spare you all of the details that have led me to finally becoming content in my singleness, because we would be here all night. But I do want to highlight some truths surrounding this season of life that I find so beautiful.
Your worth WILL NEVER be determined by someone else’s affirmation
I think often times, we as women can find it extremely easy to find our worth in what other people say or think about us. I learned the very hard way, that relying on someone else to give you validation will ALWAYS leave you empty. One of the hardest points of my life was when I tried to fill a void that only God could fill with affirmation from a human being. Relying on someone else to give you what only God can give you will ultimately fail, because we live in a broken world and we are all broken people. When I finally realized that my worth was not determined by what other people said of me, I finally started to love and accept myself for who I was. One of my absolute favorite things to think about is the fact that the same God who created beautiful things like sunsets, flowers, and oceans looked at the world and decided it needed me. He loves us more than we could ever comprehend and has placed us on this earth for a very specific reason. We are worthy because the God of the universe says so.
God’s plan is always better than your own
I know we have heard it a MILLION times. “God’s timing is perfect.” Yes, and we believe it, but sometimes it’s hard to truly feel it. The last time my heart was broken, I had a hard time believing that I would feel the same kind of joy again. However, one day the thought “who am I to believe that God is not capable of my happiness” popped into my mind and has been stuck there ever since. Seriously, who are we to think that our plans would bring us more joy than His. Not only is he a loving God, but he is a creative God. That same statement could read “who am I to believe that God is not capable of dropping my future husband on my front door step in the middle of a global pandemic?” And while the likelihood of that happening is slim, it is so important to not lose hope in God’s plans. He is creative and takes joy in giving His children good gifts. Always hold on to hope that he is ready to surprise you and make your life far beyond what you could ever imagine, even if it doesn’t include marriage.
Invest in this season
This point kind of goes back to the notion of singleness as a bad thing. Your season of singleness has just as much value as your life will when you are no longer single. One of the most unique things about this period of your life is that, for the most part, you are only responsible for yourself. You can make decisions for your life without having to consult with another person. You have so much time to invest in yourself, your goals, your friendships, and your relationship with God. An important question to ask yourself is “Am I the person I want to be when I meet the person I am supposed to share my life with?” I encourage you to focus on what God is trying to teach you during this time and enjoy His presence.
If you are currently struggling with finding the joy in singleness, I HIGHLY recommend checking out Stephanie May Wilson’s Love your Single Life course and Ben Stuart’s Breakaway series on dating. These are resources that point back to so many truths of what it means to pursue a relationship with the Lord before pursuing one with another human being. Thanks for allowing me to share my heart with you! I hope that I was able to bring you some encouragement. And if no one has told you today, you are so so loved!
I told y’all she is wise! Thank you Mallory for taking time to share your heart on this subject!
I want to finish this all by sharing one of my favorite verses of all time – one that can be applied to many different seasons of life.
Amazing things can happen when we surrender our plans to the Lord’s – He can do FAR MORE than anything we could ever dream of.
17 and 101 days to go!
xx,
Madison
